Coronavirus has impacted the world as no other virus has. The virus renamed COVID-19 is presumed to have resulted from wild animals, a few alarmists claiming a human creation in laboratories. Many famous Universities have been sullied, many scientists have gone to jail, not in reality but the wild and notorious world of social networks and media.
A section of confident Indians believed that the virus will not dare to enter India, while their 56-inches-chested PM is around. South of Vindhyas wouldn’t have such simplistic Dravidian submission to Aryan manifestations. For them, the viruses were scared only of Rajinikanth and were standing at his gate wearing masks!
Believe me, there were whispers in the remote villages that I visited recently when the innocent villagers believed that those who refuse to join BJP will catch the virus! A section believed that the virus was a conspiracy against the anti-CAA movement, much like the disrobing of a saree clad Ramdev Baba a few years ago, when a popular movement on the Lak Pal Bill was broken up by the government.
I was stopped by the secretary of a senior politician as I headed to mimic a bearhug just like Modi does. The leader was shocked as if stepping on a live snake while being apologetic. To save himself from my acerbic attacks he never failed to give a hug every time we had met until the COVID-19 appeared as a villain.
A few well-endowed argued that the virus would never enter India as our temperature was above 27.4 degrees Celsius, for them the virus can survive only below such temperature. The government never believed that the virus can devastate the nation and exclusively concentrated on Madhya Pradesh and succeeding in its machinations to an extent though no one seemed to hug anyone.
The mandarins in South Block invented a quick diversion against the Corona, a bizarre and moronic cough followed by a tasteless blabber followed by yet more cough until absentmindedly I coughed too. Cough too could be contagious and like yawn transmission!
Italy seemed to be a single EU nation affected by Corona and soon the networks went wild with the former President of Congress party returning from the country. Lesser posts are seen with ‘travelling in cockpit class from Kempagowda or Chhatrapati Shivaji Airport to US or UK,’ with photos of luxurious seats. I’ve merely peeked a sneak into the ‘other-than-cattle-class’ while deplaning, the stewardesses throwing a dirty look as if I have palmed them!
From single bra cups, undies to thermocol cups have all transformed into facial masks, the innovativeness at the time of a crisis alive. Please do believe the politicians who state cow dung and urine are the only solutions to the Coronavirus. Hug them and book your seat in the Pushpak Viman to heaven. Do come back to tell me if the temperature in heaven is above 27.4 deg C for me to take a call!
Cheers and with no offence to any!
Sampath Kumar
Intrépide Voix
Pic courtesy: Marian Kamensky
