There used to be a time when I watched news channels non-stop, anytime I switched on the TV. I see less news now. My faith has eroded in the integrity of many stories, palmed off as factual.
The last that caught my attention was the news of Russian President Putin suffering ailments, varied as schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, cancer, and whatnot. His walking style was faulty; his hands trembled, and his eyes quivered, the Western news channels confirmed. Putin has, at best, 2-3 years to live the channels predicted.
I could not resist more and browsed every channel to check the veracity of the claims. Putin seemed smart with his characteristic stride, labelled as an ‘alpha-male’ walk. The pro-Russian media clarified that he was earlier in combat and was used to carrying a heavy assault rifle in one hand and his style was a gunslinger’s gait. Thus, Putin’s one hand was static, and the other moved when he walked. I began watching Putin intensely, his walking style, eye movements, and twitching of his facial muscles, if any and if they reveal any hidden ailments, as if I was an expert. The CIA spending millions of dollars, studying Fidel Castro, and Col. Qaddafi gave me motivation. The long hours that I spent on Putin watch seemed to have impacted me, as I took to walking in Putin style, one hand glued to my body and the other swinging in a Russian ballet kind of movement, my one shoulder leaning on one side etc.
Triumphantly I did a bit of walking in front of my wife, who looked at me suspiciously. ‘Alpha male,’ I tried to explain and waited exultantly. Did you see that Telugu movie Pushpa again, or is the frozen shoulder back again? No! Women are women and need not know much about alpha males; I tried to assuage my hurt feelings. Perhaps, I lifted a shoulder much higher than necessary and needlessly pouted my lips. I might have forgotten moving my body, leaning slightly to the left and my head in a pendulum-like swing, left-right-left-right, matching my stride as Putin does.
I shall practice the Putin walk later when she is out on some errand. I adjusted all the mirrors to see myself walking from many angles. I walked, and I did not see Putin or Pushpa. Instead, I saw my style as similar to Joe Biden’s.
Don’t believe all that you hear and see on the media.
Sampath Kumar
