It’s election time!
All leaders, from every party, bearing flags of every colour and hue, are bending backwards to uphold the time-tested Indian hospitality adding a reverential ‘Ji’ while addressing one and all. The latest includes ‘Masood Azhar Ji,’ though sounds a bit jarring, it kindled my memories of three decades ago, when I was a regular to Bangladesh for business purposes. My friend-cum-agent was one Tofail Ahmed, whom I used to address as Tofail babu, again a common honorific we attach, other than a ‘dada or da’ we do in Bengal for elders. I wasn’t sure if a Tofail ‘da’ would be appropriate, as the face behind the beard always hid his age.
Be that as it may and back to the Ji business, squandering such respectful suffixes have also become hotly debated topics in the cannibalistic TV channels. People do ask me why do I watch them at all. If there is a fight on the roadside, seldom one walks away in without halting for a bit, enquiring the cause, pronouncing a verdict and if from Bengal give a few complimentary thrashes to the presumed offender. The TV sadly doesn’t provide a chance to do that, despite my ever-growing secret desire to mug the shouting anchor in a dark-alley without CCTVs around.
Back to election business, I learnt from the quick signing of lakhs of crores of MOUs yet again in the Bengal Global Business Summit that Bengal means business and Bengal is first. It proved correct by Didi announcing the entire list of 42 seats yesterday, without any need to placate any alliance partner, the ruling Trinamool Congress had candidates for all the constituencies ready.
Being born and brought up in Kolkata, I always used to pride myself at the higher plane of politics, defying idolatry, or autocratic like Jayalalithaa’s (Allah yarhamha الله يرحمها God have mercy on her!). You must be wondering why suddenly Arabic? It’s election time, and I must act neutral and secular, which means all Hindu utterances are taboo and a sprinkling of Arabic enhances the political standing even with the local minorities. If no one else yields, I might even stand to get a nomination from the lost-out leftists for the polls.
Oh, I was on a politically matured Bengal, acting ever secular. The ‘acting’ part has literally been snatched by the ruling party, which successfully fielded many popular actors and won handsomely in the earlier polls. The current list too has surprises, with 40% seats to the women who could take the poll pitch to greater heights. The list also includes new film actors like Mimi Chakravorty and Nusrat Jahan, while retaining (can I dare refer them as oldies) Moonmoon Sen and Satabdi Roy. Male actor Deb is being fielded again.
I’ve decided to burn all my literary collections and to start understanding the film industry. At my age and non-photogenic looks I cannot get any protagonist’s role in films but can still read the fine-prints of the laws relating to ban of chit fund companies, sure that the government, Reserve Bank and SEBI must’ve kept a few life-saving escape routes for the political parties, as always is done in this country.
Look out for a jacketed, front page glamourous advertisement doubling your money every year, and you can trust me, as I will be funding the political parties, virtually as a monopoly, as many financiers now are out of the race and in jail. My other passion, to start a grooming studio, and create endless handsome or beautiful but dumb actors who will flood our parliaments and assemblies, crying out ‘Masood Azhar Ji,’ and carry Gandhi’s quest for peace forward.
Vande Mataram (Copyrighted?) Jai Hind!
Sampath Kumar
Intrépide voix
P.S: No offence meant to the named actresses as I’ve never watched any movie in which they have acted!
